New Testament Bible Class



Give me a sense of humor, Lord,

Give me the grace to see a joke,

To get some humor out of life,

And pass it on to other folk.



A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!” His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?” The son replied, “I do know!” “Okay,” said his father.  “What does the Bible mean?” “That’s easy, Daddy…” the young boy replied excitedly? It stands for ‘Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.’”



Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.

There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,”

and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, its morning.


Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? 

A. Ruthless. 


Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? 

        A. German Shepherds. 


Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? 

A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. 


Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? 

A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. 


Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? 

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord. 


Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? 

        A. Samson. He brought the house down. 


Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? 

        A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. 


Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? 

        A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. 


Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? 

        A. The area around Jordan The banks were always overflowing. 


Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible? 

        A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep. 


Q. Which Bible character had no parents? 

        A. Joshua, son of Nun. 


Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? 

        A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan…) 


PS. Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee? 

        Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . “He-brews”



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